First everrrrrr :)
Thursday, March 4, 2010 6:29 AM /
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After a whole load of hardwork and caffeine, my LOVELY BLOG IS FINALLYYYY DONE :) And now that its finally done, i havent realy been in the mood to blog. But here i go anyway.Well to be honest, its not actually done. I have yet to update my profile. But im reluctant in doing it cause its just a tough thing describing yourself. The backgrounds too colourful & im still thinking if i should or not put a chatbox in my blog and several other things.And seriously its really not easy doing a damn blog la.Esp aft all my failed attempts, i must say im proud :) The credit also goes to blogbulk & youtube blog tutorial which did alotttt of help.Without these, i would still be cracking my head on how to work the fckin layout. I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS JUST ABOUT PLAYING WITH THOSE DAMN HTMLS! Well not like it was even written next to the download button.
So lately, i've been insomniac. Just got a long lecture from mom for sleeping at 5am almost everyday.And since i've been insomniac,i've been getting up at 1++ in the aftnoon these few days.Not like you can blame me. Tell me which asshole falls asleep right away when they go to bed.The weathers also been a bitch.The air-conditioner is not much of an help either.The WORLD IS REALLY COMING TO ITS END.and im hopinggggg it would be by coming thursday.That would be an exception of me feeling scared/sad of the world coming to an end.You might have thought 2012 was stupid.But I WAS SCARED kay.Can u imagine the land eating you up,and whats worse if you're still breathing when you reach its core.Coming back to Thursday, which is 11/03/2010.The day i've been running away from is finally here.An exact one week away.I really have no idea what to expect/do. !Cause i obviously never gave it my all.I took it way too cool.And i definitely failed to realize its motherfcking SPM.It may not seem like a great deal to some of us our age.But to our rents, ITS EVERYTHING!Its unfortunately programmed in their head that its the most important thing on earth for their kids/pride/reputation, you name it.And its typical.but they'll never know what it feels like to be walking in our shoes,to be sitting in a class with a psychotic menopausal teacher who expects us to already know evrything when shes supposed to be the one teaching,shit loadve homework/peka,moral project which YOU CAN NEVER GET RIGHT!, && ADDMATHHHHH.*hoosaaa*.Well yea they're lucky enough to be earning but they obviously flunked their exams as well.And to my mum, this is the only way she can metaphorically kill me for all the outings,money wasted on clothes/shoes/books/ttn/pointless seminars etc.And boyyyy am i fckin scared!
I hate the feeling to be walking up to Pn.Kok with my heart beating as fast as a bullet train & the stupiddddd suspense in my head.Then when she finally hands over my result slip*jengjengjengg*I wish i could just stop there. I dont wanna face it AT ALL. never!Cause i know im gonna break down at the end of the day. Or i wish i could just RUN AWAY. for at least a day. Then they would be too worried of my safety instead of the fckin result. But i really am not that much of a drama queen*cough*.
So i guess i'll just have to face reality as much as i hate it.Yet, it would be much easier if i only have to deal with my mom.sadly, im indian & i've gotta deal with a whole bunch of people called family who would be nothing but ecstatic to watch me fall apart(well, most of them).Then i've got the uncles to add on my misery as they start talking abt the future. PFFFFSH!
I've decided to not dwell about how i shouldve studied like 2 months before instead of 3 weeks ,how i shouldve focused more in ttn/class,how i shouldve pushed myself on chemistry, tho whatev i did was not what i wanted, but its definitely not gonna change anything.
Till then, i've got a week long to think of how to escape (:
